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No Expectations?

A man friend of mine once said the best way to get through a relationship with a man was to have no expectations of him. Wait, hold up? Say what? Yes, I pondered that for about a nano-second, and then realized that is what HE expects from his relationships, and frankly, how selfish is that? How can you be in any type of relationship and not have expectations? I would expect my spouse to be kind, thoughtful, faithful, loving, and respectful, etc…or why get married?

Now when it comes to work as a personal assistant, there are some areas where it is best to have no expectations. You see it is easy to get used to being around fame and fortune. The private jets, the 5-star hotels, the amazing bonus checks, trips to Hawaii, brand new iPhones or Chanel hand-me-downs are all things I’ve been lucky enough to experience regularly. I have also been given a car, a necklace from Van Cleef and Arpels, whole gift baskets from the Academy Awards (yes the ones valued at ridiculous amounts) and so much more.

But to expect gifts, to expect a monetary bonus when you are already paid for your work, to expect to always fly first class, for example, is a recipe for disaster. After all, you agreed to work for a price, perform those services, and get paid.  Anything extra is gravy!  So I tell you, don’t expect the perks, you’ll be so much more grateful for them when they come and will not have animosity when you don’t get something that was never promised in the first place.  What you should expect from a client/employer is to be treated with respect, appreciated for your expertise, and to be willing to work towards mutual trust.

The real lesson is to enjoy the experience and take from it what you will want to manifest for yourself. There are very few people who get to intimately witness firsthand how the very wealthy live so to be able to experience it and learn from it, is a very “rich” experience. Very few people go to work in sprawling estates. I know it’s not all bells and whistles. I was 9 months pregnant with my 3rd child and had to walk a four-story 20,000 square foot residence during a construction I was managing. I hated it then. I appreciate it now for what I learned about the process of building an estate from scratch. And while I’m on the subject of those with extreme wealth, it may surprise other assistants to know that there is not one person I have ever worked for that I would change places with.  Don’t get me wrong; I work to build a residual income stream so I can have the luxury of time that financial freedom brings. But I have seen and experienced that while money dissolves a whole lot of problems, it also brings a different set of challenges with it.  Like everything in life, enjoy the experience and opportunity and learn all you can.

Sue McGaughey says it best in this link:  http://uflifestyle.com/2012/10/08/living-a-rich-life/

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Traveling Perks of the Rich and Famous

Paris Hilton/Twitpic #663039

There are a lot of things that the average Joe doesn’t know exists in our world. There are travel perks that have been reserved for the élite few that want to pay for certain high-end services. I thought it would be fun to mention a few of my favorites.

FLIGHT DELAY? NO PROBLEM–Do you know about airport lounges at most airports where you do not wait with the general public, but in a plush and comfortable lounge? This is becoming popular with business travelers who can gain access with frequent travel miles as well and all first class passengers or Am Ex Platinum and above members. Upon entering you are greeted by the desk concierge who checks that you are authorized and checks your departure (if you get too comfortable and forget your flight). Here you enter a world of cyber cafes, teleconferencing rooms, comfortable lounge chairs, and depending on your carrier, some include barbers, manicurists, full spa services like facials and massages, work stations, theaters, bedrooms, lockers, showers, libraries, bar, food, sushi bars with chefs, living rooms, etc.  They are tucked away at all major airports. Some major carriers have their own or partner with others. Lufthansa Germany even assigns you a personal assistant and shuttles you to your flight in your choice of luxury automobile from their private first class terminal! But alas, for us common folk, in La La Land (where who better knows that dollar is king), you can always pay to use the day lounge in the Tom Bradley terminal. Brilliant!

AIRPORT PARKING NIGHTMARE NO MORE–Did you know if you go to LAX airport there is a parking service extraordinaire? Here you can drive up to the curb, a man jumps in with a clipboard while you drive to your terminal, takes your credit card number, flight information of when to pick you up and you tell them what you want done to your car while you are gone? You can pick anything from an oil change to full detail and gas fill up. He checks off his list and bids you bye-bye. No reservations are necessary. Then when you are due to return, they monitor your flight (in case of delays) and are curbside with your car. You jump in and drop them off on your way out of the terminal. What could be easier?

MEET & GREET–Did you know at most airports, not only can your limo driver drop you off, but he can coordinate with a “meet-and-greet” service at the airport to assist your departure and arrival? This person meets your  limo (or town car) curbside and assists you through to the first class counter, gets your boarding passes, bags checked, and escorts you all the way to the gate (or in most cases, your lounge). They can also meet you at your gate upon arrival, make sure your driver is curbside, and retrieves your luggage all while you are sitting in your car. This is a private service that work at most airports through your car company.

AIRPORT PARKING–Did you know when you’re in a private jet, your driver can pull right up to the plane on the tarmac and walk right up the ramp into your plane? Your driver, pilot and co-pilot load your luggage into the plane and the flight attendant makes sure you have drink in hand before you ever leave for take off?  And yes, when flying internationally, the passport agent comes to you–onto your plane to check your documents. No long lines at the terminals!

DOWN COMFORTER ON YOUR PLANE BED?–Did you know on some first class transatlantic flights, they offer massages, private bars/clubs, chefs, fully extending private sleeping pods, private TV, DVD collection of movies for you to pick from, personal travel kit, down comforters, pillows, 5 star menu including steak and lobster, and just about anything else short of flying the plane! Who would want to leave when you arrive at your destination?

FLIGHT OF FANCY-One of my favorite stories was when I was working for a good friend at holiday time in Holmby Hills, an exclusive LA neighborhood.  She was a personal assistant to a very, very wealthy family. Her employers decided to go to lunch on short notice with their son…in Texas!  I asked her which FBO (fixed based operator) they flew out of so I could help coordinate. (FBO’s are the smaller carriers at airports terminals most private jets fly out of.) When she replied, “LAX,” I knew it had to be a large plane and not one of the smaller airports/terminals.  Turns out it was a private commercial 737. I can only imagine what the gas was just for a couple hour excursion! A $100K lunch for sure!

It is important for the extreme assistant that you know what is available so you can navigate these waters for clients. And while you may be along for the ride, you’re the one coordinating with the meet and greet, the pilots, the drivers, the trip changes etc. etc., to make sure their trip is even more effortless.

In the world of travel, like anything else, you are only limited by what you can afford. For further evidence of this, check out the links below:

http://izismile.com/2010/04/07/how_rich_people_travel_42_pics.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1294306/Paris-Hilton-takes-luxury-travel-new-level-Tweets-pic-board-beds.html

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Extreme Assistant and Your First Year

This is the toughest year for you and your employer. This is because if good files were not left for you, you are re-creating the wheel as far as getting to know the preferences of your new employer.  But no problem (right?) for the fearless extreme assistant that you are!

As with any new job, there is a lot to get to know. But for a personal assistant there are many foundational lists to be made: who do they give gifts to regularly; where do they like to eat; travel preferences; food preferences; medical issues and allergies, best friends, holiday gift lists, holiday card lists; habits and routines; etc.  There are other lists of vendors they prefer to use as well. If you are lucky enough to have those lists readily available and currently updated, lucky you. However, those I have followed enjoyed shredding those lists, no, torching them all the while dancing around the fire like they were at the Burning Man Festival.

What do you do? I have a small list of important forms I fill out on each category for every new client I get now. Sometimes they will happily fill it out, sometimes you have to sneak in questions and ask for five minutes a day for the first month or so, (as long as their patience holds out). More than likely you will learn from assimilation and observation. But it will really pay off in year two!

The other bit of good news is usually the first couple of months you’re really in the bonding year, the honeymoon period, if you will. You can make mistakes that are easily forgiven and your new employer and their existing team will do more to assist you! If you are honest with your need to understand and take notes so you don’t have to repeat the questions, soon you’ll know the routines and preferences like your own. Your Sylvia Brown mind-reading gene will kick in and, if the match is right, you’ll be on your way to a successful future together and live happily every after.

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Tools for the Personal Assistant

Whenever I picture other personal assistants, I see someone on the go, focused, and handling multiple chores at one time and switching into those roles without missing a beat. I often thought it would be funny to have a shelf in my office with different hats on the shelf. As the next request came up, I would say, “Hold on,” take off one hat and put on the next, “okay, speak,” and on and on it would go as I systematically put on five or more hats within a three-minute conversation. When you’re the go-to person, you are handling such a variety of situations in one household, you could easily wear ten hats or more in one hour or one day: accountant, secretary, data processor, pharmacist, construction manager, shopper, employer, staff manager, sales manager, publicist, manager, psychiatrist, nanny, pet sitter, organizer, party planner…well, you get the picture.

On crazy busy days here’s the hat I wear the most.

And here are the tools I must always have on hand to do my job effectively:

Paper and pen
Cell phone (preferably an android type)
Calendar
Laptop computer
A good bottle of wine
A good night’s sleep
A good man
(okay, you can omit the last two…maybe)

There are just some of the organizational systems and forms I have developed which are my lifelines:

Employer information list system
Weekly/Monthly/Annual house maintenance system
Filing system (business and personal)
Medical insurance billing system
Staff scheduling/hiring/firing system
Petty cash system
Accounting / bill pay system
Order taking, fulfillment and shipping system
Call sheets and end-of-day update forms
On-going grocery lists
Hot Sheet of important telephone numbers
Holiday Gift/Card Lists
Monthly Birthday Lists
Legal forms

Clearly the job of personal assistant is one that encompasses many and you’d be smart to sneak some of your employers Xanax pills every once in a while! (Just kidding, I don’t know anyone who takes that???) This is the one constant with every employer I’ve ever had-not the Xanax but wearing many hats part. With your demonstrated competency the job usually morphs into as many areas that you can handle so remember, at some point to re-assess and request a runner or a 2nd assistant to help with the more routine tasks and allow yourself the tools, systems and forms to help you do it easier. Remember to be humble and know you can’t do it all and still do it well without the help and cooperation of co-workers and systems.

 

 

P.S. Don’t take credit for the help you get.  Support rocks!

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The Hot List

Did I lead you to believe there would be pictures from People Magazine of Halle Barry or Tom Cruise? No, this is so much more useful. It’s about one of the most important lists their assistants prepare for them in their homes and one of the most important aspects of doing your job right–being able to contact the people consistently in your employer’s life. You can prioritize them as those on the “hot list” vs those on the support list. This “hot list” consists of people in their industry who they are working with at that time, close family, close friends, employees and emergency vendors who are constants like the doctor, pharmacy, pool man, swim teacher, gardener, veterinarian, etc. This list is laminated and posted or in a drawer nearby the phones in the house and updated a three of four times a year.

I once had an employer explain to a new employee that it was very important for them to know the “players” in the entertainment industry so they are familiar with who they should “jump” for. It can be embarrassing for you and your employer if you don’t. For the motion picture executive, it would be important to know Steven Spielberg’s development executive’s name when they happen to call. Or the big venture capitalist who is financing your employer’s next big project. Do you see how it would be important to know the “players” in their life?

Along this line, you would want to keep a list of birthdays for the important people in your employers life: usually those who are close family, those your employer are working with on a project, and of course, close friends. Circulate a monthly birthday list in advance so you can have plenty of time to buy gifts and are clear on how personal the card should be and to know in advance the best method to deliver the gift. Once the month is completed, file this list to refer to for next year. Often, seeing what they chose to get them (flowers vs  $500 bottle of wine) helps you make suggestions the following year.  Keeping your lists in an organized fashion helps you so you won’t have to ask twice.  By year three on the job, you won’t have to ask at all. Progression: Year one you have to list the people with a blank next to the name; year two has suggestions based on the prior year; year three has the gift you sent next to the name “I sent — and a card from you.”

So much of the job as an assistant is reading between the lines and being able to assimilate the nuances around making you aware of who is and is not on your employer’s every changing radar. But having key contacts at hand (and on their cell phone) is one of the tools to be efficient/prepared for the both of you.

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New Year’s Resolutions…Again?

I’m sure you’re all thinking, moaning and groaning, please not another blog about New Year’s Resolutions. I owe it to my thousands of followers (uh hum) to offer my bit of untraditional wisdom on the subject. Did you ever realize nothing happens overnight? The phenomenon of an “overnight success” is just that. When you look at someone like Michael Jackson and the success he achieved, many forget he was rehearsing, practicing, recording, and performing when most of us his age were outside playing kickball. Disney stars like Justin Timberlake, Brittany Spears or Christina Aguilera are all examples of this, young stars who have been working it since an extremely young age.

Success comes from a series of consistent and focused small steps towards a goal or overall idea of an outcome. Yes, “focused on a feeling” can be just as important as zeroing in on a specific target for those of us who can’t seem to figure life out.  My own evolution as a personal assistant started at a young age of taking care of my own family and home. My mother died when I was 12 and because my father was a working musician, he was often away touring. There were times when I was in charge of paying the housekeeper, organizing our home and paying all the bills from the signed checks and credit cards my dad entrusted to me. I had to develop small systems of organization to do this “job” while keeping up with school, homework while still having a teenage life. I had a friend whose parents toured and soon this became a side job for me to do so for their family too.

My overall goal then was to have flexibility, good pay, work in anything but a corporate environment and I had come to expect a certain level of excitement from the life I led as a musicians daughter (let’s just say party planning was another skill I learned early). While I didn’t “plan” to be here and had explored other avenues, I eventually excelled at what came as second nature to me and “officially” became a personal assistant and organizational expert. I did this by taking small steps of doing this career in an abbreviated version since I was a pre-teen.

The point to this you say? Often we are very clear on what we don’t want, but not what we want. If you are stuck and tired of your job or want to do anything different, don’t wait for a perfect opportunity or million dollar idea. Start small. Make small changes towards the life you feel is more ideal for you each month or every two months even. This is so much more important and lasting than a list of extreme changes you intend to make this year.  Write out your baby step strategy, commit to it, and see where it leads.

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